In film and TV, car sex is depicted as sexy, steamy, and spontaneous. Foggy windows, warm light emanating from inside, an idyllic landscape stretching out beyond. There are never any logistical problems to speak of.
As is so often the case, the romantic lens of cinema strays a little far from reality and overlooks many of the less sexy aspects: getting caught by someone outside, injuring yourself on the gearstick or getting stuck in awkward positions and tangled seatbelts.
Despite these real logistical considerations, car sex can be sexy, steamy, and spontaneous (but it’s useful to bear a few things in mind).
Location, location
Before we delve into the dos and don’ts of car sex, it’s important to discuss safety and legality. In Australia, sexual intercourse in a public space can amount to the criminal offence of indecent exposure. So - and we cannot stress this enough - if you’re going to do it, choose a private location where you are not going to be caught. Maybe start with your driveway or garage, or a secluded night-time location in a quiet area. The location should be isolated, but safe and accessible. You don’t want to be in the middle of nowhere, feeling like you’re in the opening scene of a horror movie. Or worse, parked right next to horrified onlookers.
Park it
As tempting as it might be to start fooling around on the way to your destination, don’t be tempted to distract the driver. This might sound crazy, but moving cars are dangerous! Instead, use the drive as an opportunity to build anticipation. You could try some role-play or dirty talk to get yourselves in the mood. If you’re the passenger, you could start to masturbate or use a sex toy. And once the car is parked, make sure the car is fully off and the handbrake is on. Being naked and stuck in a car sliding down a hill is something you want to avoid.
Set the mood
Now that safety considerations are out of the way, it’s time to think about setting the right mood. If you’re lucky, you might have found a secluded natural location with a gorgeous view of the night sky. If the weather is warm (and you’re not in the middle of an icy Melbourne winter) you could open the back doors/boot or utilise a sunroof. Try setting the car up so that you have space and comfort. Put the seats down, throw some pillows and blankets around, turn some Smooth FM on. It’s also a good idea to clean the car beforehand - the mood will quickly fizzle out if you are rolling around in old burger wrappers.
Car-friendly sex positions
Even when you maximise space, there are physical limitations to car sex. Think carefully about what positions might work. If you’re in the front seat, cow-girl/boy and reverse cow-girl/boy are workable options. If you move to the back seat, you’ll have more room for multiple positions, such as doggy-style, missionary and other more flexible positions. Get creative and use what you have - there are still lots of ways to steam up the windows.