Sex - unlike watching a movie in the cinema or studying at the library - isn't generally enhanced by ‘keeping it down’. In fact, a lot of people respond very positively to a bit of auditory encouragement. So, if you've ever felt a tad shy about unleashing your vocal range in the bedroom, welcome to what we like to call the sexual soundscape: a symphony of sounds you can use to express your desire, excitement, and satisfaction during sex. Let’s explore the power of basic noises and how they can intensify pleasure, arousal and connection; optimised for those less confident in being prescriptive.
Speak without words
Communication isn't just about talking; it's about the entire atmosphere you create together. Soft sighs or full-blown screams aren't solely about adding to the fun; they're a way of saying – hey, you're killing it – keep going!
Changes in breathing patterns, such as quickened shallow breaths or deep heaving exhales, serve as valuable intel. Each moan, whimper, and gasp communicates what you like, dislike, or really, really love. Just like any form of communication, listening is key. Paying close attention to these variations allows you to gauge their level of arousal and adjust accordingly. If you’re not comfortable telling your partner exactly what you want, loud, heavy breathing can be an excellent indication of a job being done well, and will likely encourage them to keep going, exactly as they are.
Let it out
Naturally, sex is about the journey, not the destination. Cries of pleasure have deep associations with reaching orgasm, but more importantly, they can significantly help with stimulating arousal and enhancing the experience itself for everyone involved. Hearing your partner's moans is likely to boost your chances of climaxing; in fact, producing these sounds yourself can increase your own pleasure levels too – call it a win-win situation. But try not to overdo it; sometimes, less is more. Overly exaggerated moans, or cries of pleasure that seem out of place, may disrupt the natural flow – authenticity is key.
Harmonise together
Whether you're the one letting out moans of pleasure or basking in the melody of your partner's enjoyment, remember: this isn’t necessarily a one-person show; it's a dialogue, a duet, a choir even!
When your partner moans, it's an invitation to reciprocate with a moan of your own. This back-and-forth intensifies your connection and shows you’re listening, engaged and turned on. A moan in response says ‘your pleasure is turning me on’. The same goes for heavy breathing – listening to the pace and rhythm of their breath and matching your breath with theirs, can enhance the sensual experience. Ultimately, it’s about being fully present and in sync with each other.
Becoming fluent in the language of the sexual soundscape is all about practice, so, don’t hold back, don’t shy away – and if your housemates or neighbours are out, crank up the volume to eleven. Not only does it boost arousal, it also is a way to communicate your desires, enhance confidence and deepen your connection for sexual exploits to come.