There’s no aphrodisiac like a music festival. Hedonism is the name of the game. The tunes are pumping, the fits are impeccable, the crowd is babin’, and the vibes are ecstatic. Mud and questionable shower facilities aside, it’s totally possible to have good - no, great sex - at a festival.
Whether you’re romping in the hay at Splendour in the Grass, charming a snake at Rainbow Serpent, or pitching more than a tent at Pitch, here are a few tips for the best festival sex of your life.
- Pack properly
You know what we’re about to say. Condoms (or diaphragms). Bring ‘em. Bring more than you think you’ll need, and keep them on you. That way, if you find yourself in someone else’s tent, you won’t be tempted to go without. Let fond memories be the only thing you take home with you.
A few extra luxuries can totally level up your festival root. A tube of lube takes up next-to-no luggage space and ensures a frictionless romp. Plenty of mints or gum will have you kissing with confidence. Wet wipes are cheap and perfect for a quick and effective clean up, before or after (get the biodegradable ones and dispose of them responsibly.)
- Have your own tent
If you’re not camping, your options are limited. Don’t even consider a rancid day two portaloo to do the deed. Aside from the stench, you’ll probably emerge to a line of twenty pissed-off punters with bursting bladders. Outdoor sex outdoors is hot, but at a festival teeming with beady eyes you’re bound to get sprung, and bumping uglies in front of people who haven’t consented is just disrespectful.
Our hottest tip is to bring your own tent. It’s worth every ounce of the hassle for the peace of mind. Knowing your mate’s not going to burst in looking for their wellies while you’re going at it is a massive turn on. If you must share, at least give your roomies a heads-up when you’re entertaining company.
Keep in mind that if you leave the lights on in your tent, your neighbours will be treated to a shadow puppet show of your sexual manoeuvres.
- Stay kind
Festivals are all about escapism and pleasure. They’re not, however, an alternate universe devoid of morality. If you or your love-buddy are too drunk or high to give informed, enthusiastic consent, it’s hands off. If someone changes their mind or doesn’t want to perform a particular sexual act (oral sex on the third no-shower day, for example), don’t be offended. Finally, if you get lucky at a multi-day festival, chances are you’ll bump into your partner again. Don’t forget to be polite, friendly and respectful in all your encounters.
- Pee after sex
This one’s applicable to penis-havers too, but extra important for people with a vagina, and especially those who are prone to cystitis. Urinating after sex helps flush out bacteria from the urethra, thereby helping to prevent a urinary tract infection. At a festival, everyone’s grottier than usual, so do yourself a favour. Go for a wee before you nod off, or else risk spending your weekend of revelry dashing to and from the portapotty.
- Have fun
What better way to top off a long weekend dedicated to pleasure than mind-blowing sex? Now you’re fully briefed and totally prepared, get out there and shake your booty! Oh, and have a dance, as well.
